Trauma Answers

This post is written from a Christian viewpoint. If you don’t follow this faith, feel free to pass over this post. Thank you.

God calls abuse and trauma, sin. He punishes sin and we must repent of it. We also must apologize to those we have hurt.

If someone claims that I have abused them or traumatized them, they are saying that I have sinned.

I John 3:4 Everyone who makes a practice of sinning also practices lawlessness; sin is lawlessness.

If the specific “abuses/trauma” are not sins (with relevant Biblical proof) then the person claiming to be victims of abuse or trauma are only expressing an opinion.

Opinions and beliefs can be false and we must always check our beliefs through His Word.

Our feelings are easily swayed or manipulated by the world around us (non-biblical and from Satan). Satan wants our beliefs and worldview to follow un-biblical pathways.

I Peter 5:8. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.

There is a trend that is popular, especially amongst the younger generations. They feel like victims and want parents to apologize to them for not letting them make their own decisions. They feel traumatized.

There are certain people who have actually been abused and traumatized. These people certainy need help through therapy, counselors, and God’s Word. Christian men and women can also reach out to support those who are struggling and bless people where they are.

Worldly philosophers are making sure that younger generations are encouraged to look at their own parents through false/unbiblical eyes. Following these false beliefs can result in broken relationships, especially their relationship with God.

I Peter 1:15-16. but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct,  since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.”

Children should be taught by Christian parents how to be a Berean. If social media, podcasts, books and television are where a person spends all their time, it makes perfect sense that they are learning what worldly psychologists and influencers are teaching. Being a Berean reminds me that everything I hear must line up with the Bible. That is not popular with the majority of people.

Acts 17:11. Now these Jews were more noble than those in Thessalonica; they received the word with all eagerness, examining the Scriptures daily to see if these things were so.

Here are some other points that can be taken from this “new” parent-blaming trend.

I hear these worldly “experts” say that children feel like they have to please their parents. They think this means that the children and the parents are not equal. The experts teach that children don’t want to obey, and when they are pressured to obey it means that parents are abusive by controlling them. These experts feel that parents shouldn’t tell children what to do or think.

Families who follow the Bible teach children to obey God and themselves. Teachers of the no-contact philosophy teach adult children that they were abused by being forced to obey their parents.

Adult children who reject the Bible find it easy to now look back at their childhood and say that parents just wanted control.

They are reading and hearing that parents that expect obedience (control) are abusive.

Mark 11:25. And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

The new trend allows adult children to reject the way of parenting that holds children responsible to obey their parents. In reality, they are rejecting the Bible.

Proverbs 13:1. A wise son hears his father’s instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke.

The psychological trend is creating a generation that will estrange themselves from their parents and reject the teachings of the Bible, that parents used to train their children.

Many in the younger generations wanted to be equal to their parents and they then raise their children to not show respect to their elders. Unfortunately, this includes teachers, parents, grandparents, and society in general.

This generation has their own Truth and therefore blame their parents of being narcissists. In reality, adult children don’t want to train their children to believe what they were taught.

Right and Wrong are no longer black and white.

One reason children in schools are so disrespectful and determined to have their own way, is that parents don’t want to have control over their children (because of this new trend where they are afraid of being a narcissist).

This is ridiculous when you are trying to follow the Bible.

It appears to me that children raised by parents who are trying to follow Christ, have either become Christ followers or have become one of those who are rejecting the teachings of the Bible.

There are also children who want to be Christ followers, but are accepting the philosophy of the enemy, because it’s easier to blame their parents than to look inside and examine their lack of holiness.

Following the Bible is terrifically difficult, but a true Christian will make that their first priority. This is not so that they can be good enough to earn salvation, but because God commands His children to be holy. That’s what we should strive for.

The world and the enemy want us to have our own Truth, even though the Bible teaches us that there is only one truth.

John 14:6. Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.

Even though it’s the hardest life, it is the best and only life worth living. Christians must depend on God alone. It’s not right to say that you are a Christ follower, when you are striving to follow the world’s wisdom.

James 3:15. This wisdom does not descend from above, but is earthly, sensual, demonic.

Social media, podcasts, and books are leading young adults in a way that will take them and their children away from God.

Believing this philosophy of having your own truth and blaming your parents because you think that they tried to control you, will send you far away from the real Truth.

Children raised in this way will be disobedient and hard to teach. Being estranged from family members who do believe God’s truth, will create children who suspect bad things from people who want to teach them absolutes of Scripture and the reality of Right vs Wrong.

Because of the current trend of going “no contact” with the family, children are going to experience more chaos. They will also experience more acceptance of sin.

Satan has found a sneaky way to separate families and create generations of unbelievers because they are taught that anyone who tries to control them is an abuser.

I Corinthians 13:4-5.  Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

No matter their intentions, no good can come of this.

For the person who has been truly abused, Christian therapists are helpful. For a Christian who has been abused, the Bible teaches them what to do. The only way to heal and overcome abuse is to forgive the abuser. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you will let a family member who molested or abandoned you, do the same to your children.

But, the adult child who can’t forgive is hurting themself much more than hurting the person who abused them.

Colossians 3:13. bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

As an adult who finally forgave those who wronged me, I experienced such freedom! The world looked so much better and my anxiety was easier to handle after offering forgiveness.

A person who mistreats you may never apologize, but you can still forgive them. That approach is Biblical and it allows you to raise children who won’t observe your bitterness.

Ephesians 4:32. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

Teaching children absolutes of right vs wrong, will allow them to be ready for God’s call to salvation. It may not be trendy, but God said that we are to be different from those who reject His Word.

Matthew 6:14-15. For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you,  but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.

If you find yourself starting to believe this new fad of going no contact with your parents, I encourage you to examine your new thoughts by comparing them by the Bible.

I am afraid that this generation who want to be “gentle parents” will raise a generation of children who will reject the Bible. The only “gentle parent” is God – our Heavenly Father.

Many of those who go “no contact” believe that making children obedient is an act of abuse.

These victims of “parental abuse” often say that parents didn’t let them be equal to their parents and teachers, and that it is an act of abuse.

The Bible teaches that children should obey their parents. This law of God is necessary for training a child to be one who will easily love and respect God’s Word.

If children think they are equal to authority, they also will reject God and His law. Without obedience, a child will not see their sin and won’t desire a Savior.

When we hear that we are all abused and need healing by going no contact with family, it may sound reasonable. But, these teachings lead adult children to reject the freedom that comes with forgiveness.

Even if a parent, who is a true abuser, doesn’t apologize, it’s vital for the abused person to forgive them in their hearts. If an abuser doesn’t change, the abused can forgive in their heart, while putting boundaries in to protect further abuse.

The problem I see is that everything that is named “abuse” is not so.

Even a person who is not a Christian may desire morality, and understand right vs wrong. The danger is following this new trend. Satan has created a scheme that can prevent children from seeing a need for a personal savior.

John 14:15. If you love me, keep my commands.

@2025, copyright Lisa Ehrman

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Lisa Ehrman

Lisa has been blogging since 2013, and loves sharing resources and ideas for living a simple life. To get free printables, bonus words, and more - sign up for the newsletter.

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